BlushwithAdeola

Attraction is a funny thing and the fact that most of us think that physical appearance is the driving force behind attractiveness is funnier. I’ll come really blunt, if you think that attraction is based MAINLY on looks, I’m sorry you are sore wrong.

While looks plays a role, your thoughts and how you carry yourself is the biggest force behind attractiveness. You don’t need to be dressed in the latest trend or wear the most expensive label to be attractive. So quit blaming your looks (which is really unhealthy) and focus on other important thing.

Personal development (improving yourself mentally, socially, emotionally, physically, spiritually ) is everything when it comes to attractiveness; your social skills, how easily you can solve problems, your mindset, your positivity, your honesty etc . Improving yourself will automatically help you live a happy and fun life and help you attract the right people(because you are emotionally intelligent and know who is who). So don’t sleep on it but work on them. As you read on ill be giving you 7 major tips on how to improve yourself.

Make sure you read till the end number 7 is my personal favorite.

1. BE GENUINE: Be real, if you pretend people will notice (because you can’t pretend forever). If you do this you will be obstructing your true self and most of all you will be creating a false relationship. So be the most authentic version of yourself, don’t try to impress others it will only stress your mental health. THE REAL YOU IS IMPRESSIVE. Your honesty and Sincerity about yourself will shine outwards and others will feel more attracted to you.  

IN SIMPLE NAIJA TERMS”NO DEY FORM”. We’ve heard people say “I Like am, he no dey form”.

2. PRACTICE YOUR CONVERSATION SKILLS:

Most of us are introverts (people who don’t love socializing) but how are you going to meet new people if you don’t socialize? You don’t have to completely change who you are, you just have to learn to improve your social skills.

Positive opened body language (such as making eye contact, leaning forward a little bit, smile) will make you seem more approachable and engaged. Talk with purpose and practice act of listening instead of just waiting for your turn to what you want to say, pay attention to their ideas and emotions. Acknowledge them as they speak not interrupt them. Most Nigerians like to say “ehn ehn” when you are trying to have a conversation with them please  use the “ehn ehn” that means you are interested and want to hear more.

If you are wondering what to talk about them you can simply talk about restaurants, TV shows, sports, books ask questions(but make sure you respect their personal space)and chip in little jokes. Stay on track on things the other person has shown interest in. You can look really good but if you can’t hold conversations well you might struggle with developing your social life.

3. LEAVE THAT COUCH OR BED!!! :

This might be difficult for introverts, to be honest I really enjoy staying at home but how can you practice your conversation skills if you keep avoiding gatherings. You need to step out.

 Please don’t drain yourself by going to parties every day/weekends, you can join reading clubs or any other thing that interests you.

Don’t forget to strike a balance between your alone time and the time you give to others. In fact the price of aso ebi these days will help you strike the balance.

4. HAVE NO DOUBT: I’m not saying you shouldn’t reflect on your decisions or admit your mistakes. Be confident, Trust your judgments, take decisive actions, draw from your knowledge, stand up for what needs to be done and do it. All these will improve your leadership skills which is a very attractive trait.

5. POSITIVITY: Gratitude Is a way of training the mind to be positive, be grateful for the little things of life and you become an asset rather than a burden. There is a difference between airing your opinion and complaining, reduce the whines. Complaining and pessimism will drive others away even though at first they might be comfortable with it (to be honest if we only talk about your problems I might run).If you complain without doing anything, it will make you look helpless and weak, please do everything in your power to reduce the way you complain.

The more you complain the more you attract situations to complain about.

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Positivity and a hopeful traits are attitude you can bring into your life. Embrace every moment as a blessing.

6. LIFE IS NOT A WAR, LIGHTEN UP: some light humour will always be appreciated in conversations especially during an awkward situation. If you take life to seriously you are setting yourself up for disappointment when things don’t go as planned. Spice things up with a little humor and who knows, you might make someone laugh. Trust me if you make people laugh when they are with you, you will attract more. Tell a story with a little bit of hilarity it works all the time.

7. BE DEPENDABLE: If you are like me that always flake out on plans, don’t follow through or even change your mind last minute, please it is your time to change.  This will send a wrong message to people, they will see you as unreliable and this doesn’t attract anyone.

They will stop coming to you for help or even stop sharing their  lives with yours. If you struggle with being dependable try practicing consistency in other parts of your life, develop routines and healthy habits, set and accomplish goals within a time limit you set for yourself. Find success by holding yourself accountable and people will find you accountable too. People will  be attracted to you if they know they can depend on you.

You are a SPEC, live for yourself; you are the star of your life. Create real change in your life concerning personal development, do what you love doing. Your passion and sense of purpose will attract others.

What are your tips for feeling more attractive?

Don’t forget to Like, Comment and Share with your friends. Love from Adeola.

let your speech always be gracious seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each other.

Colossians 4:6